Now this is something for all of us to truly ponder. It’s so easy to do God’s will when it’s something we already want to do. It’s easy to praise His name and give Him credit when everything is going right—when our prayers are being answered and life feels good.
But what about those times when our flesh gets in the way? When our prayers are taking longer to be answered than we had hoped? What about when everything seems to be going wrong? Or when God tells us to do something we really don’t want to do?
How are we acting then?
This week, God brought up some hard things from my childhood—things I truly thought were behind me. I believed I had already healed and moved on. But then He placed it on my heart to talk about it in a video. And let me tell you, the weight of it wore me out.
I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t even want to think about it. I wanted to leave it buried, left in the past. Some of it was even embarrassing because it carried shame—shame that wasn’t mine to bear. Even though what happened wasn’t my fault, that shame still attached itself to how I felt. If you’ve ever been through something dark, you might understand what I mean—how you can feel dirty from something you didn’t cause.
I had dealt with it. I had healed. I had moved on—or so I thought. But when God called me to talk about it, even without giving full detail, I didn’t want to do it.
Still, I’ve learned to mean it when I say, “Not my will, Lord, but Yours.”
I don’t always understand why He wants me to speak on certain things. But more often than not, I know someone somewhere is going through something similar, and maybe they need to hear what God is showing me so they can find healing too.
After I shared it, I realized I wasn’t as healed as I thought. Not fully. Not until I let it out.
That evening, I just wanted to relax. I thought about having a glass of wine to wind down. I was emotionally exhausted from what God had me revisit. But I heard Him in my heart say, “I don’t want you to drink any alcohol.”
Still, I grabbed my keys and went to the store anyway. I got one of those little carts, and to avoid looking like I came just for the wine (yes, I’m rolling my eyes at myself too), I filled the cart with other things—some chocolate, a little meat and cheese platter, even some vitamins. And then, finally, I picked up the wine and placed it in the cart.
But I couldn’t bring myself to go to the register.
As I walked around with the cart, I still felt God saying, “I don’t want you to get the wine.”
I argued back in my heart, “Why not? I just want to relax.”
But God knows, y’all. He knows our true intentions no matter what we tell ourselves. And while yes, I wanted to relax—that was true—I also just wanted to be numb for a little while.
And God said in my heart, “I don’t want you to deal with hard stuff that way.”
So I started putting things back… everything except the wine. I got close to the checkout, stopped, and said, “Okay.” I left the cart—with the wine in it—and walked quickly out of the store.
Now, before you judge me for not putting the wine back, I think God was more pleased with my obedience to leave than He was concerned about whether I returned the bottle to the shelf.
When it comes to healing, part of the process is facing what broke us. It’s not just about remembering—it’s about feeling it, too. That’s the only way we can fully release it. Yes, it hurts. It’s exhausting. Sometimes it makes you cry. But once you allow yourself to process it, you can finally let it go and truly be free.
Later that night, I received a confirmation—one of those little messages from God that reminds you you’re on the right path. It said when we choose to follow God instead of giving in to our flesh, we’re producing good fruit.
It’s not always easy, but God will help you do it.
In 2 Timothy 2:22, God tells us to flee from youthful lusts—not just sexual ones, but anything that leads us away from Him. That verse also tells us to pursue righteousness, peace, faith, and love. According to the dictionary, “to flee” means to run away from a place or situation of danger.
Now, buying wine wasn’t inherently dangerous—but using it to numb emotional pain can be. That’s where the danger lies. So when I left that wine in the cart and walked away, I was literally fleeing from temptation.
Later that night, I curled up with my fur babies, put on a movie, and went to sleep. And I slept well.
The next morning, I felt lighter. Better. I focused on my goals, asked God to help me accomplish what needed to be done—and He did.
Whatever you’re facing, always take a moment to consider why God asks what He asks of us. There is always a reason. He’s not trying to punish you—He’s protecting you. Guiding you. Loving you.
If you learn to trust Him, you’ll see that He’ll never steer you wrong.
